Gloria was having a really bad day. She had a run in her pantyhose. She’d been late for work and had to endure a thorough scolding from the world’s worst boss, followed by a series of menial tasks she thought below her. Bring coffee. Copy these letters. Run out and get everything on this list from Office Depot. And hurry up about it. She ran from the second she walked in the front door to Maeve Blankins, Photography. She hated working for a woman, hated it with a passion, but the job paid well, better than anything else she’d found. And it did have it’s fringe bennies. She couldn’t think of any other employer where a constant stream of gorgeous hunks walked in and out, took off their shirts, and posed.
The nights were the worst. Sometimes Linda woke up, forgetting Pat left her until she reached for him and found nothing. A few times she’d gotten in the car and driven around, hoping to see him somewhere, she didn’t know where. Every time she returned, she felt dumb. If he didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be found, yet there was satisfaction in trying…
I hate it when he sends me upstairs to think about things. I know darn well what I did and thinking about it just makes it worse, ’cause he’ll be up sooner or later holding that awful old belt of his, smiling that crummy little smile.
One thing she really hated was when he was right and she knew he was right and she had really fucked up. Like tonight. How she’d left the steaks out of his pack she couldn’t recall. She had put together all the food, and divided it between their knapsacks. She had an angry and hungry man sitting in the small tent with her, and she could tell he wasn’t going to let this one go.
The dream was always the same. Amy wore a dress she could only describe as early June Cleaver, and her lingerie was straight out of the fifties as well – she had never in her life worn a garter belt for heavens sakes, or stockings. Even her heels weren’t really stilettos. She shook her head. She was in a small room with minimal furniture, a simple couch, the awful table and two chairs. Awful because she knew how he would use it.
I can recall
The hearty laugh
The bawdy shriek
Your lusty chuckle
Why can’t I hear you anymore?
I’d know that scent in a heartbeat
Sometimes I catch it
When I sort our clothes
Or close a book
An old book
One you loved
I miss your touch the most
Stubble against my silk
And then the rolling, heaving, grasping reach
As we made love
Not me, not after all the years
I must not have been enough
The end of the road
But it was I
I and the others
Who paid your toll
Sundays the church bells call
But I can’t return
Instead I stand
At cliff’s edge
Trying to make sense of the senseless
To find meaning
Any meaning at all
I have children to raise
I can’t promise the next
This is dedicated to someone close who chose the end of the road – long ago.
I’ve been absolutely focused on a book revise/rewrite cycle, to the point I was effectively off the grid for the last two months. Not to mention family, day job, and medical issues. But I’m back!
This is part of Ruby Kiddell’s Wank Wednesday Erotic Notebook project. See the other entries here
Katrina sat on the edge of the bed, clad in nothing but a towel, still flushed from the hot water. The doors to her closet stood open, and there was literally nothing inside. Every Dior she owned, all her shoes, coats, everything was gone. The lingerie drawers on her dresser were open and they too were empty. She knew without looking that the rest of the chest was empty as well. She took a deep breath, trying to control her anger. The shower had washed off all the perspiration from an afternoon of tennis at the club and she’d been overjoyed. Finally she’d beat that bitch Betsy for the club championship. It had been an elusive goal for the last eight months. When she walked into the closet and found her loss she was livid. She screamed for Marie but the maid was nowhere to be found. She stomped around the room for a moment, nearly tripping over the huge box at the end of the bed. A card with Jack’s writing was taped to the top.
For my sweetheart, to help you live the future you’ve agreed to.